How Are You Feeling?

When our pregnancy first started, I really thought I would get tired of hearing people ask me how I’m feeling. That’s kind of the obligatory think you ask pregnant ladies. But really, I haven’t been annoyed with it at all. LOTS of people ask me that, but the thing is…the all seem to really care about the answer. So that makes it actually really touching to tell the same thing over and over.

And different people have different reactions, some people have advice on how to deal with it, so…it’s nice. I like that part.

And up until the last few weeks, it’s been a pretty easy question to answer. I mean that in this way: the answers are not something that makes people generally uncomfortable.

How are you feeling?

Well, I’ve been struggling a little with nausea this week, but it hasn’t been too bad.

How are you feeling?

I feel great!

(This one either gets the ‘I despise you’ glare or ‘isn’t that nice for you?’ or great!)

How are you feeling?

I’ve had a cold this week, and it’s been challenging to not take any medicine.

How are you feeling?

You know, I’ve really been having a hard time with headaches for some reason…

You see what I mean? These are all pretty easy topics.

But now? Now I really have to think about how I answer. Because the answers are now things like:

Well, this ligament that holds my pelvis together is pretty loose and it makes my butt-bone feel like it’s ripping apart sometimes, like when I put on pants.

Wow, these exercises I’ve been doing to prepare for giving birth in the squatting position are really killing me!

And later? Later they’re going to be things like:

There’s this weird discharge… okay, we’ll stop there. Some things aren’t for blogs that are even for the people who love me most in the world J

You get the picture.

So basically, when someone asks me how I’m feeling, I start a very intricate scan of how I’m actually feeling. Because people want to hear something. When I say I feel great, I really do, but sometimes I think people think I’m just saying that to get them to leave me alone. So, if I can, I try to think of something specific, to let them know I at least appreciate their concern enough to come up with something.

However, if, in this five-second scan, I come up with nothing that is socially appropriate to share, I’ll say “I feel great!” Sorry, it’s a short period of time. And really, you would rather me say that than the thing about my pelvis separating.

But, my goal is to come up with something that is true, but pleasant, or at least not gross. Something like, “my belly feels pretty stretchy, but that’s good because it means baby is growing!” Or even, “I’m having to eat smaller meals more frequently because I’m running out of room for my food, but that means we’re getting closer!”

So, if it takes me a few minutes to answer when you ask, please know that I really appreciate it, and I’m formulating a response that will allow both of us a level of comfort.